The Man With A Plan
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: So Hummel is gone, you say? Well then, I've got just the plan to see him again... nufufufu! .:. plotting!Dave plots, and all Hell breaks loose. .:. hinted Dave/Kurt also called Kurve. random oneshot. takes place after 2x08.


**A/N: Stop it, random ideas! Stop flooding my mind with goofy images and snippets of dialogue! D:**

**Brought to you in bully-to-slash-fangirl translation vision! **

**Also: can I make a couple shout-outs? I love boldlikeblack's and TheFirstMrsHummel's and dorydafish's fanfics, like, so0o0o0o0o very much. Enough so that I wouldn't mind marrying their writing. ;D andand boredinBelefeld is, like, my best reviewer. Thanks, you guys, for all of the Gleeky lurve~! :D**

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Finn feels the impact, but no pain behind it as his spine collides with a locker, the sound of slammed metal sounding bells in his ears. "What's your deal, man?" he barks at his aggressor, giving a shove back.

But Karofsky is strong, and maintains his hold on Finn's shirt. "I heard you two are step-bros now. So you must know, right? You know why Hummel hasn't been at school for going on four days now. No one gets sick like that. He must be faking it, or gone somewhere."

The Glee member finally breaks the bully's hold and stares him dead in the eye as he straights his shirt. "That's right, asshole. I guess even you can think for yourself sometimes." He snorts. "Yeah, Kurt's gone. He transferred to Dalton Academy out of fear of you. So congratulations, Karofsky! You succeeded in driving away the one guy you hate so much. And thanks to you, we have to face him at Sectionals now!"

Karofsky pretends to know what Sectionals are. He assumes it must be a nerdy singing competition thing. He snarls, "Well _sorr-yyy;_ I didn't think Hummel would turn tail and run away. I thought he had more confidence than that." Code for: _I thought he was braver and stronger than I was._

"Everyone has their breaking points, Karofsky," Finn retorts, and with that, he struts down the hallway and out of sight.

Dave is left with his thoughts, as meager as they are.

Sluggishly, a plan forms in the depths of the bully's mind: _Wait a second,_ he reasons, _I want to see Kurt. And he's going to be at Sectionals. I might not get a seat to that event since people are pretty obsessive with that sort of thing, but I'm guaranteed a shot at seeing him even backstage if I'm in the Glee Club… and Hell, I can _sing._ Might as well not waste my talent, right? And besides, maybe I can change Kurt's mind about me if he sees that I've "changed my ways" or some shit when he spots me in his former club._

A sly grin spreadsacross Dave's face. Oh, this should be interesting.

xXx

"Knock, knock," Dave announces as he rat-a-tat-tats his knuckles on one of the open doors leading into the choir room.

About a dozen pairs of eyes turn to look at him.

Instantly, the demeanor of the room shifts.

"What in the _Hell_ are _you_ doing here?" Mercedes is the first to belt out, sassy as always.

Rachel is next. "You!" she screeches, standing up from her chair. "You're the reason why we're having these damn try-outs for a replacement! I hate you so much, I just wanna –"

"Easy, Rachel," Finn says calmly, but he's shooting a glare in Karofsky's direction.

"Hey, look, I just thought I'd see if you were still taking auditions. I could leave." Dave says, shrugging, appearing aloof. But he's secretly determined to make his plan come to life.

Will Shuester seems to study him. "Step inside here, Mr. Karofsky," he says, a hand to his chin in thought. He glances the boy up and down for a second, a frown on his brows. "Aren't you the same kid who's been teasing my Glee members? What makes you want to audition?"

The jock glances sideways at nothing, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He left his letterman and his backpack in his locker. He feels naked. "I just thought I'd stop being a dick and actually give your little club a try. I mean, everybody says I can sing. I'm a man of many talents," he adds with a cocky smile as he returns his gaze to all of the angered, annoyed, and mildly surprised faces. "So what d'ya say? Let me try out?"

Shue sighs, shrugging. "I have to let him, you guys. I'm obligated not to turn anyone willing down. We need another person, and if he's good enough, we might even help us win."

There is a chorus of groans in protest throughout the room.

"Just give him one chance, you guys," Will tries again, a nervous smile on his face. He turns back to Karofsky. "Well? What did you have in mind?"

"'Feeling Good' by Michael Bublè," he says, shrugging.

Will raises his eyebrows. "You're a crooner? Like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and who you just named?"

"Yeah," Karofsky says defiantly. "You gotta problem with that?"

Will looks oddly enthused. "No, no! That's… great, actually. Kind of like myself," he says, smiling. He glances back at his other students. "Come on, now we _have_ to let him give this a shot."

"Fiiiiine," comes the reluctant response.

Their pianist and guitarist strike up a fresh, acoustic version of the song, and leaping up onto a small platform, Dave Karofsky belts the lyrics with a smooth, velvety, rich voice, and completely blows the little Glee fishies out of the water.

Rachel blinks in shock. "He's… amazing," she whispers, a bit intimidated.

"He's a tenor," Puck remarks, amused.

"He's _good,_" Artie scowls, still peeved at Karofsky for throwing Mike into him in the locker room last week.

And once over half the song is through, Dave does an impressive tap-dance-like number, and Will Shuester is convinced.

"That settles it!" the teacher remarks as soon as Dave's finished. "You're officially part of the Glee Club, Karofsky. That was… well, impressive!"

And while Dave gives a triumphant smirk, every Glee member hangs his or her head in defeat. Things just got horribly complicated and so utterly _wrong._

XXx

Bonus: Kurt's reaction…

Walking proudly up onto the stage, thrilled to be at Sectionals yet again, Kurt Hummel admires the decorations and the soon-to-be-filled seats. He can already hear the will-be audience outside of the auditorium doors, murmuring amongst themselves.

He smiles, and it only broadens when he sees his former singing group come out to greet him. "Hey, there's our favorite Dalton boy! Win or lose, we'll still love you, Kurt," they tease, and he gets a hug from Mercedes and Tina and even Rachel.

"But, uh, there's something you gotta know, dude…" Finn begins, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"What's that?" Kurt asks, slight concern on his face.

And that's when Kurt sees him. In the back of the group, wearing the same clothes as the rest of the group…

Dave Karofsky.

His nightmares come true. He turns white. Then, slowly, and with a little sigh, Kurt's eyes flutter closed and he falls backward, fainting.

"Crap!" Finn shouts, lunging forward just barely in time to catch his stepbrother. "Somebody fan him!"

Meanwhile, Dave doesn't look too pleased about Kurt's reaction. He looks torn between worried (code for: he cares more than he wants to show) and miffed (code for: offended; why can't Kurt look pleasantly surprised?). He settles for indifference, and walks away grumbling something to himself (code for: angst).

Kurt wakes up moments later after Quinn's, Rachel's, and Puck's useless fanning. "Did… did I just see who I think I saw?"

Everybody laughs nervously. "Um. Yeah. That was Karofsky all right… and you won't believe this, but, haha… he's our new tenor! Isn't that just _swell?_" Sarcasm, sarcasm.

Kurt collapses again.

Sectionals have never felt so stressful.


End file.
